I put a lot more energy into my friends and my real life, not waiting for the next family thing to Santa Tampa Bay Buccaneers Logo Lights Christmas shirt for me. It was not going to matter. Guess what? Over time the family relationships healed too. Because it takes two to tango with that battle. And my dad DID visit for a big birthday. And so did my mom many many times, And it is all fine and great with my sister. And even with my brother. And there are no more crazy emails to even tag. And it’s all great and it’s lovely. I appreciate it and it does not MATTER so much. I remember once sitting at a birthday dinner for a great uncle next to a relative who was at the time perhaps around 60 years old. Very nice person always but bottled up. And then he sort of breaks character and said a few not nice things that let me realize that he was still hurt because his dad did not pay enough attention to him when he was a kid and beyond. And I thought, “Dude, when are you going to get over that?” I don’t think he ever did. And when his dad died, he didn’t give him a funeral. You pass that stuff on to your kids so it’s worth fixing: if you feel slighted, they will carry that in some way. It was like a wake up call to me to get my house in order. It was all happening around the same time as I had this realization. So what works best for me is to keep holding all relationships, and myself too, to a higher standard of civility, kindness, joy and general pleasantness. I think this just works and attracts the best in everyone. So File Family under Social, and liberate yourself from a lifetime of drama. To be basic about it at some point, It’s Time to Grow T.F. Up. If not now then when, right? So have a holiday where you gather the nicest, most real people from whatever collection of humans you can think of whether you share DNA or not and just show up for each other, share stories and laugh a little. And watch really sappy movies and sports.