I’m feeling the exact same way. I would consider myself as intelligent and “good at stuff”. But all my life, every time I was successful in something, something else would come in the way and ruin it. I was self employed and created book covers until they stopped paying me for no reason (they still owe me money). I am now in another country and am expecting a child with Disney Star Wars Chewie we’re home shirt and I’m happy with where I am personally, but I always thought I’d be more successful by now and wouldn’t have to worry about money. It hurts to see others succeed and “rich” even though that’s an incredibly selfish thing to say.
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Just keep working. I used to be embarrassed by my lack of Disney Star Wars Chewie we’re home shirt. I didn’t find my true passion and real career success until 49. Think about other opportunities to use your talents, volunteer at a non profit to write scripts for their videos. It may lead you to something that is just perfect for you. It could be that it’s not a lack of of focus, but that you are still searching for what will work for you.