You will always be able to hold yourself high for the strength and self-love you displayed in quitting that addictive path you started on and quitting because of love. You displayed that KOTM George Kittle sweater. That was also because of love, you know? The love *you* have in yourself. We sometimes have family who are more difficult for us than anyone else will be. The best thing to do is what you did, try to understand them, try to empathize, but make a firm boundary and walk away from woundings you are being meted.
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About the end, you just forgive yourself. I am pretty sure judging by the largeness of your vision about how things went down, that KOTM George Kittle sweater and you read this account about someone else, that you would see clearly how much you are not to blame at all. Now you go and own that deep beauty in yourself and show that freely because many have never seen the like and desperately need to see it modeled.