You are not ugly. You are an unlikely miracle of existence that arrived against all odds that you might play a part in the story of this Thor Logo Ugly Christmas Shirt. We are so conditioned by simple notions of what it means to inhabit a human body and how we are supposed to interact with others that we become overwhelmed by the feeling that how things ARE is ‘wrong’ when held up against how they SHOULD BE. When you let go of SHOULD and look at your story you can see its beauty and understand your own grace.
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Your story suggests your mother was struggling to survive. Experience tells us that when someone is drowning they desperately cling to whoever is floating by without the ability to appreciate their special qualities or to understand that Thor Logo Ugly Christmas Shirt. You had the sense to create a safe distance (not everyone is so blessed) and when your mother was no longer a danger (no longer using you as a life raft), you were understandably out of reach.